HI. I JUST MET YOU.

HI. I JUST MET YOU.

It had not been a very good day, but I’m much better now :).

Was a lil down recently at school, idk there is a problem or I think too much, however I wish everything will fix back like how it fixed last time.

Went driving lesson after school, preparation for tomorrow re-test. It already had been two weeks I never got on the driver seat. Fyi, I failed my JPJ test two weeks ago. Was sooo sad, can’t even count how many times I cried when I think of it. I still cried like a baby when I think of it just now, haha, silly girl. I think I didn’t manage to hide my feelings for tomorrow re-test, so much of worry, nervous, scare, unsteady, etc, until daddy mummy found out I’m not in the situation. I think I must have showed some retarded face lol. When they talked about with me, I cried again. Argh, fml. Daddy scolded me again :(, but this time I lam tong jor ^_^

I remember how I used to tell others how strong am I, tried to show others I’m an independent girl. But actually, I’m not. I think everyone knows it, except me -.- argh. I’m a girl who scare of failure SO MUCH. I’m actually very blessed. I seldom fall down on the journey of my life, I’d never loses anyone precious in my life, never did ever cry at a funeral, perfect family, I’m even blessed with well academic results. Over flowing blessing from God turns me out a “weaklings”, this was how Brendon call me whenever I’m sick. Haha. Blessed but still complain of it sometimes, this called 身在福中不知福。I feel like I’m writing an essay because I’m gonna write, everything has it pros and cons. Haha. Yet, this all turns me out to a girl who can’t stand on failure, not even abit.

                                

Drawing, Dancing, Swimming, Piano, everything when I face failure, I’ll give up. Everything. That’s why I never let myself fail in academic, I never allow myself to drop class. Because I know when I do, I’ll give up. I’ll just give up. But this time, God chose to let me learn. He let me failed on my driving test, something I couldn’t give up. He wants me to learn FAILURE. Failure, fail, is not just about being defeated. It doesn’t mean that I can just break down and don’t care about anything everything. Failure has so much to learn than success. Something I didn’t understand last time, trying to understand now, and hoping I will really understand and get lesson from it. See this.

I’ll never stop trying. :)

I did doubted whether to bribe, if I keep on failing, is very time wasting and cost a lot of money. But is not the matter of passing, driving doesn’t mean you passed your test mean you know how to drive like F1 lol, that’s still a lot to learn on the road. Too much that I never think of last time. If I bribe today and get my license, next day I go on the road and I can’t really drive well, it’s preety useless and might be causing harm to other road’s user too. So, let just really get my license in a proper way, no matter how many times I fail, but of course I will do it one time better than another then finally get my license, and be really know to drive. Aite?

But of course I hope I can pass tomorrow and can really concentrate on my trial. I know I’m talking bunch of crap just to convince myself, LOL. I still remember last two week when the first time I take the test, Eng Chuan is so nervous, I still call him to chill. At last, he passed and I didn’t. Haha. I still remember when I failed, I can’t control myself I just hug Eng Chuan and cried. Not that kind of hug lah. But Eng Chuan hen hao ah >_<, comfort me all times long. Still comfort me today for tomorrow’s test.

Although I nearly bang a car today, but is the other car fault :/,  haih. Didn’t did well today, got on Uncle’s nerves somemore, he scolded and shouted fuck my life so so much T_T Went tuition with freaking bad mood but thanks to Pin Yeong, Andrew and Jason for cheering me up. Andrew asked why I looks hyper today somemore lol? Received many greetings today, touched, I’ll try my best tomorrow ok? :)

Mom calling for prayer, ciao.

August month, birthday month, pokai month. I still hutang Soon Wei’s and Wilson’s present. Xi May present bought 2 months but haven’t have the time to wrap and prepare it. And now, Hi August, what is August? Can eat one? :D

One Little Two Little Three Little Indian (Y)

Say hello :p
Today is the 8th day of school day of 2012 .
Is just the 8th day , and I felt that it had been months .
I still can’t get used to it .
I always tend to think that the first week of school we’ll get to sit at the assembly hall along the day , we won’t get into class for lessons . And of course , no homeworks .
Then I found out I am now a Form 5 student .
Form 5 don’t get orientation for the first weeks of school .
Form 5 have lessons and homeworks on the first day .
Form 5 is so no-life .

Form 5 school life , all I can say is homeworkssssssss .
The never-ending-homeworks .
I’m trying hard , trying to put some effort .
I try to change , I try to finish up the homework , I try to have a new start good start in 2012 , but , is like there is no end .
You can’t , don’t even say you can because you just can’t .
It’s like FINALLY FINISH (Y) , then new stacks of homeworks are waiting or you wtf .
Stacks and stacks , more and more .

I’ve been crying at the first week of 2012 , idk but now not anymore :)
Last year , I cried almost every single night .
School re-open , new syllabus new teachers , exams . Pressure that I can’t cope .
I count that as an improvement .
As time pass , you’ll get used to it .
I told this to Elizabeth that day , so I think I should try to .
I don’t like it whenever people says I’m A class student , there’s no big deal for me .
I just don’t grumble that doesn’t mean it’s easy for me .
Every new year is still a big challenge for me .
I face pressure , I cry in the nights .
When you have no choice , all you can do is try your best .
And I’m not giving up now :)

Form 5 , I’m seventeen .
Seventeen , do I even look like one ?
I look like small kid when I’m with my friends , little girl :/
They are so tall , this is so unfair .
I’m short , and all I wanted is to get tall .
What I most dislike is talking with juniors that are taller than me , I might just slip away .

GET TALL , my biggest wish in 2012 .
IT'S NOT FUNNY .
Idk but I put my last hope on this year , will miracle happen ?
But today got people say I got taller and thinner , I’m so happy hahaha :D

Tomorrow morning need to go school for 挥春 :/ then church , another tiring day ):
Maybe I should just get myself sick and rest a day at home , what a fantastic idea (Y)
Ciaoz :)

Ps : Sorry if the post is a lil sarcastic :/