HI. I JUST MET YOU.
It had not been a very good day, but I’m much better
now :).
Was a lil down recently at school, idk there is a
problem or I think too much, however I wish everything will fix back like how
it fixed last time.
Went driving lesson after school, preparation for
tomorrow re-test. It already had been two weeks I never got on the driver seat.
Fyi, I failed my JPJ test two weeks ago. Was sooo sad, can’t even count how
many times I cried when I think of it. I still cried like a baby when I think
of it just now, haha, silly girl. I think I didn’t manage to hide my feelings
for tomorrow re-test, so much of worry, nervous, scare, unsteady, etc, until daddy
mummy found out I’m not in the situation. I think I must have showed some
retarded face lol. When they talked about with me, I cried again. Argh, fml.
Daddy scolded me again :(, but this time I lam
tong jor ^_^
I remember how I used to tell others how strong am I,
tried to show others I’m an independent girl. But actually, I’m not. I think
everyone knows it, except me -.- argh. I’m a girl who scare of failure SO MUCH.
I’m actually very blessed. I seldom fall down on the journey of my life, I’d
never loses anyone precious in my life, never did ever cry at a funeral,
perfect family, I’m even blessed with well academic results. Over flowing
blessing from God turns me out a “weaklings”, this was how Brendon call me
whenever I’m sick. Haha. Blessed but still complain of it sometimes, this called
身在福中不知福。I feel like I’m writing an essay because I’m gonna write, everything has
it pros and cons. Haha. Yet, this all turns me out to a girl who can’t stand on
failure, not even abit.
Drawing, Dancing, Swimming, Piano, everything when I
face failure, I’ll give up. Everything. That’s why I never let myself fail in
academic, I never allow myself to drop class. Because I know when I do, I’ll
give up. I’ll just give up. But this time, God chose to let me learn. He let me
failed on my driving test, something I couldn’t give up. He wants me to learn
FAILURE. Failure, fail, is not just about being defeated. It doesn’t mean that
I can just break down and don’t care about anything everything. Failure has so
much to learn than success. Something I didn’t understand last time, trying to
understand now, and hoping I will really understand and get lesson from it. See
this.
I’ll never stop trying. :)
I did doubted whether to bribe, if I keep on failing, is
very time wasting and cost a lot of money. But is not the matter of passing,
driving doesn’t mean you passed your test mean you know how to drive like F1
lol, that’s still a lot to learn on the road. Too much that I never think of
last time. If I bribe today and get my license, next day I go on the road and I
can’t really drive well, it’s preety useless and might be causing harm to other
road’s user too. So, let just really get my license in a proper way, no matter
how many times I fail, but of course I will do it one time better than another
then finally get my license, and be really know to drive. Aite?
But of course I hope I can pass tomorrow and can
really concentrate on my trial. I know I’m talking bunch of crap just to
convince myself, LOL. I still remember last two week when the first time I take
the test, Eng Chuan is so nervous, I still call him to chill. At last, he
passed and I didn’t. Haha. I still remember when I failed, I can’t control
myself I just hug Eng Chuan and cried. Not that kind of hug lah. But Eng Chuan
hen hao ah >_<, comfort me all times long. Still comfort me today for
tomorrow’s test.
Although I nearly bang a car today, but is the other
car fault :/, haih. Didn’t did well
today, got on Uncle’s nerves somemore, he scolded and shouted fuck my life so
so much T_T Went tuition with freaking bad mood but thanks to Pin Yeong, Andrew
and Jason for cheering me up. Andrew asked why I looks hyper today somemore
lol? Received many greetings today, touched, I’ll try my best tomorrow ok? :)
Mom calling for prayer, ciao.
August month, birthday month, pokai month. I still
hutang Soon Wei’s and Wilson’s present. Xi May present bought 2 months but
haven’t have the time to wrap and prepare it. And now, Hi August, what is August?
Can eat one? :D
